just another day at the library...

i'm convinced that the employees here at the crawfordsville public library see the same people at the same time each week. i'm currently sitting on a fairly comfortable couch myself, staring out the nicely polished HUGE windows watching the traffic go by. (i think i've spied a few people i know from my vantage point and let's just say they're not all people i want to run into during my time in town!) anyway, next to me an older middle-aged gentleman sits with his laptop playing endless games of spider solitaire (although i think he's winning most) and his brow furrowed with his hand upon his forehead. i'm gonna go ahead and guess he's a regular...behind me at one of the tables sits an older man reading a magazine. he is accompanied by his Down's syndrome son who is also reading a magazine. they were in here last thursday same time i was (i've been studying for NCLEX...ugh). in fact, there are six other people in this particular room with me this morning and i recognize four of them just from the three short hours i was here last week. interesting.

i can't exactly say that the thing i'm looking forward to most about aging is heading to the public library everyday to catch up on my reading or play countless games of spider solitaire on my computer. but in a lot of ways, i long for a life that simple, that carefree. lately things have been hectic (to say the least). i have mixed feelings about where this next chapter of life is taking me and at any point during the day, i may be feeling one of twenty different emotions. excitement and peace are the emotions superceding them all, but sometimes doubt, fear, sadness, longing, or even anger seem to creep into the mess. girls tend to be emotional rollercoasters anyway (thanks, eve) and this transition seems to be having a synergistic effect on the height of the hills and angle of the turns on said rollercoaster ride. still, i'm enjoying being at home, spending time with my parents, and am looking forward to soaking in these last few months of freedom before i truly enter "the real world." and despite my ever-changing emotions, i have confidence that i serve a God that is never-changing. when i sit before Him in prayer or open His Word, nothing but peace floods my soul. i can't quite figure out why i still like to let my eyes drift from His glorious face, but in the quiet times i am reminded that He truly is leading me and that He truly is in control. just gotta hang onto that peace...

quick update:
1. i am currently living in crawfordsville.
2. i will be working just a few days a week in indianapolis.
3. i am studying for my NCLEX (state boards) examination.
4. i accepted a job on friday as an RN in the PACU at University of Kentucky's Chandler Hospital.
5. i start july 6th!
6. i'm moving to lexington at the end of june/1st of july. (i have no furniture though! ahaha.)
7. i will miss numerous people that have blessed and continue to bless my life.
8. i'm super terrified of living alone.
9. things with ben are great...he'll be moving to lexington in august.
10. my dog currently has cancer, is on the fritz, and i'm most scared of leaving her right now.
11. i secretly can't wait to get some experience as a nurse and then head overseas! i'm jealous of everyone traveling (especially elizabeth fleck!) this summer. ha.

so, some good news mixed in with the not-so-good, but overall, i can't complain. it's a beautiful day outside and i am loved deeply by my Creator.

i wanna go back to india...