it's been almost 5 months since i last updated, but that's what happens when you finish planning a wedding, get married, move, and then don't have internet. sometimes i can steal from my neighbor, but it's only in very select areas of our bedroom and isn't always the most reliable. so right now, i'm sitting in a study room in the asbury library. ben is studying for an exam and i'm trying my best to keep my mouth shut. i'm working on bills (ugh!) and trying to get us on a tighter budget and am planning on tackling some of those thank you's in my purse in a few minutes. not the most exciting way to spend the day, but i'm currently on day 2 of a 13 day stretch off and i'm trying to be productive. besides, just hanging out with ben is great no matter what we're doing.
so, there's marriage. it's great...better than what i could have hoped for. i should've known it would be pretty wonderful considering God brought us together, called us to get married, etc. but seriously, i am blessed beyond measure. ben has been God's greatest gift to me. i'm learning a lot and trying to be a better wife everyday, but sometimes it's more fun to just hang out with him than do the dishes like i know i should. ha. we eat out far too much (mostly due to our opposite schedules and my reluctance to do anything when i'm working night shift), but it's my goal to start cooking for him more. our roles are a bit reversed sometimes because he's home more and not working, but for now, it's okay for us. i appreciate all the sacrifices i know he's making and i am so, so proud of how well he's doing in school. i won't lie...it's kind of nice to come home in the morning to folded-laundry and vacuumed carpet too. ha. but i know it won't always be like this...we're just trying to enjoy where our life is taking us right now. a friend recently asked me to describe myself in just three words: content, joy-filled, and ben-loving. God is good and i'm finally feeling settled.

there's also work for me. i think enjoying my job is another HUGE reason i'm feeling settled. last year was just a terrible time for me to be completely honest. not only had i moved away from home, gotten engaged, and was trying to make friends and plan a wedding...i was also hating my job. i would get sick everyday before work and oftentimes, couldn't even enjoy a 4 or 5 day stretch off because i kept counting down the hours until i had to drag myself in there again. i was doubting my call to nursing and God and was honestly wondering what in the world He was up to. thank goodness ben put up with my insanity and still wanted to marry me...i relied on him a lot during that time (probably more than was healthy) and felt like he was the only reason i got through some nights at work. but, that's over now and i feel so good about being a nicu nurse. i love the babies and i feel very supported by my co-workers. it's certainly heartbreaking at times and some of the social situations are very draining, but it's such a privilege to be at work praying for the babies as i take care of them and the homes i know they'll go back to. there are definitely stressful nights, but it's nothing like pacu. nothing. i like nursing. i like my job. what a life changer that has been for me.

then there's stella. she's still being ornery, but we love her to pieces. ben thinks she might have an attachment disorder because she's so incredibly needy and no matter how many times we tell her she's a little pathetic, she still doesn't change. if she could, she would be on my lap 24/7. ha. yesterday morning i got off work, came home, and ben was already gone for class. i attempted to stay up the whole day so i could go to bed at a decent time that night (that definitely didn't work... i crashed around 2 pm), so when i got home i changed into my pj's, got into bed, and watched a movie. stella was acting a little weird, but i knew ben had let her out before he left, so i wasn't worried it was that. anyway, when i finally got up to hop in the shower around 10:30, stella climbed in with me! i was just shampooing my hair when i looked down and saw her head peaking around the curtain. next thing i knew, her entire body was in the shower and she was licking the hot water off the shower floor and walls. poor dog...i realized she was acting weird because she had no water downstairs and some neglectful parents. we'll have to do better than that with a baby one day! :)
day to day life as an adult can sometimes become repetitious, but i'm enjoying the routine. we spice it up with a camping trip here and there and visits to/from friends and family. my parents are coming down this weekend and bringing the remainder of our wedding gifts (finally!) and we're headed to the apple orchard and keeneland for some horse racing. i'm really looking forward to hanging out and relaxing together...all in all, life is good.