hold her heart, Lord.

right now, i'm exhausted. i just arrived home after working five of the last six nights and although i'm fairly sure i could drift off to sleep and wake up on wednesday, my mind is reeling.

some lyrics keep playing over and over again as the tears continually well up in my eyes...

one tear in the driving rain,
one voice in a sea of pain
could the maker of the stars
hear the sound of my breaking heart?
one life, that's all I am
right now I can barely stand
if You're everything You say You are
would You come close and hold my heart?

i feel like his mother might be singing this song right now. i can only picture her crying over her young son as he laid dying, the sister leaning over her brother and begging him to "get up!" i can only imagine the 100 people that showed up at the hospital after this young man's accident whose lives are forever altered by his death. so young...so much more life to live...gone. forever. there's no turning back for him now. whatever decisions he made in life, whoever he chose to worship, he's facing the consequences of those actions now. it's so...final. after he passed, his mother asked if she could take him home and put him in bed. when she left, she had so many questions about where his body would go, what she should do, etc. she sobbed and through tears managed to say, "for the first time in my life, i don't know what to do for my child." my heart broke.

i heard this same mother pray and thank the Lord for giving him to her if only for a short time. i imagine she'll be questioning a lot of things in weeks to come and that her faith may not always be as strong as it was in the moments shortly before his passing...i'm praying she remembers that God truly is holding her heart close, even in moments when a tragedy like this does not make sense to anyone.