i'll set the scene for you:

driving down washington street in crawfordsville, waiting for the light to turn green so i can turn down wabash and head home. there is a man wearing khaki shorts, a red polo, and some very thick-lensed glasses standing on the opposite corner waiting to cross the street toward me. i begin to make the turn but stop, wanting to wait for him to cross. his steps are jerky as he walks, clearly indicating he has some sort of physical defect. he sees me waiting and begins to run across the street to get out of my way. he is stumbling and struggling so hard all so that i can be home five seconds sooner than i would have had he walked. i begin to weep.

all of this transpired in a matter of ten seconds or less, but my heart hurts. i have just begun to really share about all that God did in india this summer and how His broken people have touched my life. even after being home for a month, many moments throughout the day are extremely difficult. part of what has been getting me through has been praying that God would reveal His broken and hurting people to me here in this place as well. my weeping at the sight of a stumbling man crossing washington is evidence that God is certainly answering my prayer. i had the urge to pull my car over, jump out, and hug this man. i sensed in a few short seconds that his life has been one of rejection and hurt and maybe even bitterness at the hand God has dealt him. i wanted to comfort him and tell him about a love that fills all the gaping wounds inside: the love of Christ. many of life's injustices that i witnessed in india and continue to witness here break my heart. why was i born into a family that loves me? why did God bless me with a body that works and a brain that thinks well? why is that God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways while i wait for the day that He reveals Himself to others i love and pray for without ceasing? why? why? why? i don't understand sometimes. i don't understand why some people suffer their whole lives like the hindus living in the streets of india when they don't even have hope for life after death. what kind of existence is that? are they just too stubborn to see? is God using their poverty and suffering to try to bring them to Him? but what if they don't turn? they've had a hard life and a terrible afterlife! oh, God...i have so many questions. please help me to make sense of what's going on in Your world. my heart is so burdened, but i entrust these people into Your hands, knowing despite the hurt that You love and care for them more than i could ever fathom.