Monday, March 3, 2014

"I don't know what You're doing, but I know who You are."

Is it acceptable to blog after not writing for a few years? I honestly thought about starting a new one, but my absenteeism from blogging is a result of my life: busy! For a while I just couldn't write anymore because everything was sad. But thankfully, everything is not so sad anymore and my life is just SO full.
 
Grad school, new job...every day off in the past month has had something assigned to it: babysit Lainey, volunteer at church, take my mom to surgery, baby shower, life group, etc. etc. etc. I'm ready for things to start slowing dooooooowwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnn. Even before leaving to go to the Pacers game on our recent date night, it felt like a chore because I was thinking in my head, "My one free evening to just sit on the couch and do nothing!!!" I am so glad we went and we had a great time, but as I was getting ready, I was not enthused. They're all great things, I'm just wearing down. Even right now I should be scrambling to finish my grad school assignment for tomorrow, but I just can't do it. I want to sit here on the couch and blog and watch Bones on Netflix. I am officially unmotivated.
 
Life at 27 seems complicated at times. I find myself comparing my life to where I think I should be at this point and I come up disappointed. I don't have a house or a baby. Yep, that's basically it. Everyone around me has a house and a baby and it makes me feel like I should have one too. I mean, I definitely want a house and a baby, but lately I've had to show myself some grace and realize that everyone moves at different speeds...that my life is in the Lord's hands and His timing is perfect. I find myself saying, "I don't know what You're doing, but I know who You are." Recognizing His sovereignty in my life has given me a lot of freedom. I don't have to have it figured out, I don't have to live by others' expectations for me or even what I think their expectations might be. God is working and I am growing and that is the measure of a good life.

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