they are most certainly not forgotten.

a few weeks ago in church, they showed a video about helping kids at christmas time. i don't remember all the details of the actual charity, but at one point they said, "it says to the children, 'you are not forgotten.'" at that, my eyes welled with tears and i could hardly contain myself. i had already been fighting what was obviously a losing battle looking at the children on the screen and remembering all my own children...half a world away. my heart longs to be back. they are most certainly not forgotten. i remember them every single day and i ask myself, "what are they up to? do they miss me too? i wonder how jesus is touching their lives today..." ugh. i always said i wish my super power was the ability to click my heels like dorothy in the wizard of oz and go anywhere i desired in the blink of an eye. i could click myself to india just to have lunch and click myself back in time for class. jesus clearly has the capacity to grant such a desire...maybe i should start praying. seriously though, i hope and pray those children know that they are not forgotten. not by me, not by our Redeemer. they are beloved. they are precious. they are valuable in our sight. they are loved. they are so loved. they are so incredibly loved. every ounce of their being is loved and i pray tonight that each one of them is claiming that truth in their own lives. i pray that in spite of parents that abuse them or abandon them, in spite of a culture that tells them they are less than animals, they look in the mirror and say, "i am whole. i am healed." dear Lord, may it be so.

fast forward a few more days. i'm attending a beautiful group that celebrates recovery, whatever that may be in the lives of the attendees. i was there to actually do some clinical work, but apparently there had been a mix-up and they had no idea we were coming. another student and myself slipped in behind their circle and sat for 45 minutes as these women shared their stories. some were just beginning to work through their brokenness while others had emerged on the other side and remained to offer hope. it was beautiful. and i was so naive. they shared stories of serious drug addictions, ones that took their children from them and left them without any idea as to who they really were. one woman (who i actually knew) told her story about being sexually abused as a little girl-- it took her 48 years to recognize her value in Christ. one lady said she used to share a bed with 10-15 different men every day just to fund her drug habit. she's now healed. another chronicled her battle with a terrible eating disorder and how every morning she wakes up, looks in the mirror, and says to herself, "you are beloved. you are holy in His sight. you are the head and not the tail. you are above and not below. you are valued." these women are also most certainly not forgotten.

now to today. TU volleyball game. the chatter of spectators and the echo of volleyballs being slammed on the court fill my ears. the girls explode off the ground and the powerful arm swing entrances me. i miss the game. something catches my eye off the backside of the court.

a man.
shuffling.
wearing a purple game shirt.
eating his popcorn.
waving his hands above his head and clapping because he sees everyone else doing it.
he's in his own world.

my heart seemingly stops. my eyes fill with tears. silence. Lord, help me fight the urge to cry. not here, Father. not in front of all these people. this is incredibly embarrassing.

i close my eyes. gain my composure. look around me. no one has noticed a thing and no one else is even looking at this man. he appears to be invisible. that part hurts more.

i sat for a moment or two, pitying this man, wondering if he has people in his life that love him and love him well. he's mentally retarded after all, and he's vulnerable.

then Jesus said to me, "why do you pity him? look at him! really look at him! he's so full of joy and he wouldn't be spending this moment of his life any other way. don't pity him. i love him just the same way i love you and even if no one here on this earth loves him well, it doesn't matter. i validate his life. his existence delights Me. cheer up, stace. he is most certainly not forgotten either."