home.

i've been home for two days now and it's good. i haven't exactly accomplished a whole lot in the way of unpacking, but there's time for that, right? :) i was able to spend some good time with dylan the night i got home (i dyed his hair and actually bleached my black dress in the process...whoops) and then went to church and hung around the house yesterday and today. watched a movie with my mom last night and then was able to meet kate's friend danielle and spend some time with them late last night. i slept in WAY too late today and then even napped after i got back from rollerblading in the rain. i have been so wiped out...i guess i'm finally just catching up from all the craziness at the end of the year.

there have been many surprises and blessings this last week concerning india. i went to my mailbox last thursday night after leaving the baseball game and found an anonymous card with $175 for my trip inside. i couldn't believe it! the card simply said, "God always provides." i am humbled and amazed and completely overwhelmed by such generosity. i wish i knew who sent it so that i could properly thank them, but my guess is that they know me too well and understand that along with my appreciation sometimes comes feelings of guilt over "inconveniencing" someone and accepting such an extravagant donation. also, i received a wonderful letter from friends of the family that served as an encourgement to stay faithful-- it also had a check enclosed. someone i admire very much called my phone as i was driving home saturday evening as well. i missed the call, but received one of the most incredible voicemails, assuring me that this prayer warrior would add me to the list. she told me she loved me and was proud of me and i have no doubt that my life is covered in her prayers. when i went to church yesterday, a woman i also admire spoke with me and then wrote me a check for $150 for my trip, abundantly more than i could have ever asked for. as i have thanked God over and over for His provision both monetarily and prayerfully though, i have tried to let go of any false feelings and simply say thank you for laying it on someone's heart to support the ministry. the more i pray about india and see God move, the more i realize that i have nothing to do with any of it. He gets all the glory. it is my continual prayer that india touches more hearts and reaches more lives than my own mind can fathom. i'll be leaving before i know it and hope that upon my return, i can adequately express my gratitude to each and every individual that was a part of it.

this last week also included a lot of heartache. i am normally so excited to get home, to spend time with my family, and enjoy time away from class. this year, it was different. the tears started on thursday and never really stopped. i realized that many of my graduating friends would be moving far away, but that i would see them at various weddings this summer-- that brought comfort. still, recognizing the mark they left on my life left me feeling empty at the thought of their departure. like i've said before, i just want to bottle them all up and carry them around forever. unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. there was one particular individual i was dreading saying goodbye to however. actually, i think i may blame the week's tears on him. he sort of came out of nowhere in my life, a fast friend that i will genuninely miss. whether i will ever see him again is questionable and after our goodbye, i cried most of the way home. for the first time at indiana wesleyan, i met a boy that made me feel valued and that fulfilled male friendship needs. that sounds hokey, but after having such great guy friends here at home, i desired the same at school and never really felt as if i had a consistent one that appreciated me for me. i am proud of him, proud of the man God has created him to be, and proud of his accomplishments and the places i know God will take him in life. he makes me believe in goodness of men again, something i wasn't sure i would ever get to say. i am thankful for him for so many reasons and will forever be grateful that God allowed our paths to cross. i'm only hoping that one day they will cross again. until then, he shall remain in my prayers.